I live in a haunted loft...
Yep. It's true. Built in 1910, my building was the original carriage house in what was then, a dusty little cow town. When I moved in, there were actually HORSE GHOSTS hanging around still waiting for their owners to come back!
Of all the hauntings I’ve dealt with, this one has been the most dynamic! It only took one or two conversations to set the horses free and I have NO DOUBT that working with them has opened more horse doors in my world than I even know yet, and already the horse ghosts have invited so many horses in bodies to gallop into my life.
Since moving in at the start of April, I've been to the Conscious Horse Conscious Rider Facilitators Training, I've started creating Access Bars classes with horses, am enhancing my energy skills with Qi Gong and horses every week… And this is just the tip of the iceberg of what the horse ghosts have gifted me in return for me helping them move on. You can certainly expect to be invited to receive the gift of horses along side me as I giddy up into a future sprinkled with horseplay and horsing around!
I must tell you that I didn’t always have this much fun with hauntings! I could allow ghosts to speak through me in Channeled Healings, but I didn’t know how to deal with the stubborn guys who always seemed to be attached to the places I lived and the dudes I dated.
Hauntingly stuck... I just wasn't equipped with the tools to help them skedaddle. And then I discovered Talk to the Entities™!
If you’d like to have greater ease dealing with hauntings, here are my recommendations (prices vary from $35 - $350 USD).
Sometimes, I just play the audios in the loft on a low level to make it easier for me to clear stuff. There are still some stubborn and abusive horse owner ghosts I’m dealing with. The drugs they were on plus their level of unawareness, unconsciousness, anti consciousness, and demons is requiring a bit more tenacity and time but the audios always give ME more ease and space with their insanity.
What if clearing hauntings is a gift you can receive more dynamically than ever so far?
10/25/18 ~ Access Bars with Horses ~ Loveland, CO
10/26/18 ~ Access Consciousness Foundation ~ Boulder, CO
11/4/18 ~ Conscious Horse Conscious Rider ~ Lafayette, CO
12/15/18 ~ Talk to the Entities Beginning ~ Denver, CO
1/31/19 ~ Talk to the Entities Advanced POP ~ Longmont, CO
Massage & Private Coaching with Donna
I’ll be honest. I’m writing this article because it’s an assignment from a conscious business coaching program I’ve committed to. I’m not excited about it. In fact, when my subgroup had the task of choosing a topic to create a meme and education materials for and they chose receiving I was annoyed. Afraid even because I’m not sure what receiving actually is and as an Access Consciousness Facilitator, I ought to know. I mean, it is one of the four cornerstones of consciousness.
Since I didn’t seem to have my own idea of what the word actually is, or more accurately, sort of froze up when faced with the task of educating people on it, I turned to Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language for help. Here’s what the good, old dictionary has to say:
RECE'IVE, verb transitive [Latin recipio; re and capio, to take.]
1. To take, as a thing offered or sent; to accept.
2. To take as due or as a reward.
3. To take or obtain from another in any manner, and either good or evil.
4. To take, as a thing communicated; as, to receive a wound by a shot; to receive a disease by contagion.
5. To take or obtain intellectually; as, to receive an opinion or notion from others.
6. To embrace.
7. To allow; to hold; to retain; as a custom long received.
8. To admit.
9. To welcome; to lodge and entertain; as a guest.
10. To admit into membership or fellowship.
11. To take in or on; to hold; to contain.
12. To be endowed with.
13. To take into a place or state.
14. To take or have as something ascribed; as, to receive praise or blame.
15. To bear with or suffer.
16. To believe in.
17. To accept or admit officially or in an official character.
18. To take stolen goods from a thief, knowing them to be stolen.
Definition is always a limitation. It’s the parameters we set for ourselves, the world, and everything in it. Why turn to a dictionary then? Well, it’s actually a powerful exercise in receiving. It can help you receive what your own definitions are on a topic so that you can let those definitions go and ultimately set yourself free.
How do you get beyond definition? Have a look at what the word receiving brings up for you. I’ll show you what comes up for me to help you get the ball rolling:
How many of Webster’s definitions are about taking? Why would anyone care to receive if they must take. Seems aggressive for an act that ought to be about relaxation, ease, and peace, don’t you think?
And then there’s the accepting part of receiving. How many times have you had to accept something that really wasn’t acceptable. Someone’s shitty behavior, less than you’d like to have, the things you cannot change… Acceptance, more often than not, requires you to give up your seat and succumb to something less than. Acceptance is too often the path of mediocrity.
To embrace. Now that’s got a different ring to it. OK, maybe I’ll receive. Embrace has the energy of communion in it. Both parties are active participants in an embrace.
To allow; to hold; to retain. This is flat out confusing. Allowing has a stinging superiority to it. You have to know all and be better than to allow something to occur. Just call me Your Highness. How do you receive something if you’re superior to it? If you’re too good for a million dollars, can you ever have it?
To admit. Yes. This is the thing we all long for. How often is admitting about admitting to our wrongs. Admitting to the facts. Admitting to a set of evidence that we can never change. Now I really want to receive. But wait, what if admitting could be about admitting to the greatness? Admitting to the magic? Admitting that you can change anything? Maybe there’s hope in receiving afterall...
To welcome; to lodge and entertain; as a guest. OK. This. It’s more like embracing. Welcoming is also an active energy. There are two parties. Both celebrating. There is the gift of being welcomed and the gift of doing the welcoming. I suppose I won’t throw receiving entirely away.
To admit into membership or fellowship. Just like welcoming, though usually when you’re part of a membership or fellowship there are rules to follow and how many times do you have to blind yourself from the all-of-you so that you can stay in the group?
To take in or on; to hold; to contain. Receiving has to last more than 10 seconds??? Why do I have to hold onto or contain anything to receive it?
To be endowed with. Well, I mean, I’ve never know endowment to be a bad thing…
This simple exercise can help you discover where you’ve defined what receiving is and therefor limited yourself. To further my honesty, writing this article has been an incredible gift of receiving for me personally. I didn’t realize how many crazy ideas I’ve had about the topic but now that I do, I can simply clear them.
At this point you must be wondering how the heck I’ll clear them. I mean, these ideas have been around forever. Just look. I found them in an old dictionary. Surely I can’t just clear them.
Actually I can. The road to freedom starts with honesty and the Access Consciousness Clearing Statement. I can simply turn to the superheros of consciousness and POC/POD everything I’ve got twisted up about receiving. Don’t believe me? I dare you to try it.
Start by asking yourself, “what does receiving mean to me?”. Next, list out all the stuff that comes up: the good definitions, the bad ones. The weird memories. Everything your family and teachers and churches and culture taught you receiving is and is not. All of it. Write it out. Lastly, use POC and POD to start letting go of your definitions in favor of discovering what receiving truly is, what it can be, and how you can begin to receive more of you.
And then let me know what you discover… I’d love to hear.
With more clarity than I had before ~Donna Salemink
Have you ever read a book that totally transformed your life? Yeah. Me too. Thank goodness for books.
Once in a while the book that changes everything is one that your teacher made you read. Oh yes. The book that shook the very foundation of my life was given as assignment by my 6th grade teacher.
Mr. Biehner made us do lots of stuff: expand our vocabularies, learn how to organize notes, spell correctly... and he also made us read Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
These days if you need to expand your vocab you can just visit dictionary.com. Have organization issues? Use any one of a zillion online organizers or open the myriad of options that came standard on your phone or computer. Suck at spelling? Voila - spell check.
Wondering how to get beyond the things that seem to limit you from having a great life? Read a novella about a strange bird who leads a very different life.
At 41 I can't tell you how many times I've popped open the little book. Jonathan Livingston Seagull never loses its magic and continues to influence my life. Each read leaves me inspired, empowered, and feeling much less wrong about me.
I tend to dig it out of my now scant library after I've been peering over the edge of a cliff for far too long and I'm cold and hungry and tired and sore and scared that if I jump I'll most likely spat. I usually open the worn pages when my voice doesn't seem to work any more and I'm frozen with fear about what to do and where to go next.
And each time I read about my favorite bird I know that living without limitation is possible. I know that all the freedom I seek can start to show up once I unclaw myself from the ledge and let wind and gravity and current sweep me into the air.
Jonathan strives. Against the squawking crowd that make up his peers and even against flock elders who warn him to scrape for scraps of food, this very special seagull never settles into survival as the end all be all of life. Nor should any of us.
The feathered protagonist always wonders how to get better: better at flying; better at gliding; better at rolling and dipping and skimming the ocean's surface with elegance; better at letting go of resistance and allowing the wind to increase his speed. Jonathan even learns to sleep afloat.
At home, he's berated. He's teased. He's cast out of the flock for being a seeker. Food doesn't even matter to Jon. What he hungers for is speed. He chases perfection. Even when he's exhausted and it seems like his body might break into an explosion of feathers and bones, Jonathan keeps going. Alone, he masters each tilt, each subtlety, and each nuance that adds more and more speed and glory and ease to his flights.
Jonathan reminds me over and again to be a leader. To let go of those who doubt that something better is possible and he teaches me to always strive for greatness. He transcends every limitation that, for generations, his flock has tolerated.
Limitless living... The invitation. The whisper. The possibility.
It's a choice only you can make.
Sex. Sexuality. Copulation. Orgasm. Sexualness. Intimacy. Relationship.
These are the 7 elements of your turn on.
How are they the same? How are they different? How would YOU like to play with the 7 elements as part of your living, breathing reality?
Most people have the different strands of sex tied up into a giant hairball and an even bigger contraction in their world. For many, all things are created equally when it comes to the components of turn on.
I mean, do you know anyone in a sexless marriage? Folks who do sexless marriage decided at some point that sex and relationship are the same and are so attached to their decision that they won't let it go. Have you ever copulated with someone and there was no intimacy or true caring? That's about a decision you have that sex equals no intimacy.
Not only does equalizing the pieces of turn on serve as a source of confusion, angst, jealousy, and upset, it creates a place where you actually turn everything off, including your body. It's how you render yourself totally impotent and the real problem here, regardless of your gender, is that impotence doesn't just affect your sex life, it affects your entire reality and cuts off your capacity to create a greater future.
But don't despair. You're life is not over if you've got your turn on all knotted up. There are a few pragmatic things you can do right now to flip the switch and open up to your potency:
Taking the time to tease out the elements of turn on will step you into a greater awareness of what is and what works for you and this is key to flipping the switch.
There is one thing you require if you'd truly like to instigate this change... no judgment. Of you or of anyone else. You'll have to take a searching and fearless inventory of your sexual reality, including the parts that make you squirm, if you'd like to reawaken to your light, vibrant, joyful, orgasmic life and living.
You'll have to be gut honest with you about how you're copulating. Is it for you or your partner? Is it fun and easy or is it painful and you'd just like to get it over with quickly? You'll have to look at sexuality and sexuality is actually wrapped up in gender and judgment. Did you decide that you are gay and will never do it with the other sex? Are you straight and have a descision that you can't let yourself get excited about the same sex?
The decisions you have in place create a sexual reality that is ordered, predictable, and one that you'll wind up resisting no matter your relationship status. Single or married, polyamorous or monogamous, copulating or celebate, you can have in place a sexual reality that is kinking the hose of your life force.
Let your turn on flow. Start with the willingness to look at what you have as your sexual reality and mix in with that your tenacity and the demand that you tap into what truly turns you on. Then let me know how it goes. Shoot an email to me at email@example.com. What new questions arise in your world as you step into your turn on!
And if you need a bit more of a kickstart, buy my amazing, 3 part Access Consciousness™ class now! Learn more about the elements of turn on. Clear the decisions and confusion you've got wound up in your sexual reality. Create the sex and relationship reality you always knew could and should be possible.
I was asking a friend recently if she knew anyone who might be interested in taking a class I'm facilitating this afternoon on body magic and she mentioned that money is a bit of a hurdle for some people. What I discovered myself saying next actually blew me away.
I told her that when I really really want something I usually get it. Wow! What an awareness!
The money, regardless of amount, shows up often in magical, mysterious ways when I'm totally choosing. See, for me, if I know something is going to add to my life somehow (and sometimes I only know energetically) I'll do pretty much whatever I need in order to to make it happen.
Did you know that there are actually 3 excuses we can make so that no one can argue with our choice? Guess what… money is one of our greatest excuses. The other two? Kids and sickness.
I found myself telling her that, yeah, people who can't afford it simply can't afford it. It's what they've decided and I'm more OK with that than ever before.
See, the thing is that we are much more powerful than we've ever given ourselves credit for. So if we really don't want to do something we'll make sure we don't have enough money, use the kids as a reason and justification not to do it or even go to such lengths as to make ourselves sick as a way to avoid the thing.
If you stopped allowing money to be your excuse not to choose the things you'd really like to choose, would anything be able to stop you?
Pretty much, that's it.
You don't need to tell the person you're trying to help about books they ought to read or share what your therapist said to do or talk about what you did in success camp or hug them or give the person a Kleenex. You don't need to run away or plan how you'll tell your friends how fucked up the person is later or share how fucked up you are in order to make them feel better or offer a drink or tell them to cut out red meat or gluten or suggest herbs or, worse, essential oils that they probably ought to add to their life.
I mean, you can do any or all of those things if you want and your ideas can actually be really helpful. But usually what you say is less important than the fact that you are being there, with your friend, in the midst of something he or she is struggling with.
I had one helluva yesterday. Stepped into the sadness and frustration that hit me like a ton of bricks when I was around 8 years old and that has sort of plagued me off and on since then -- a familiarly numbish place. Maybe you know that space too -- let's call it the Kingdom of Sorrow. When you're in that terrible empire and look around and all you can see is grey and tearful and ever unchanging it's only natural to want a way out. And that's when having someone simply be with you is totally life changing.
I'm not sure about you, but I don't like to answer my phone when I'm stuck in the Kingdom of Sorrow so it's not very easy for anyone to help me find my way out. Yesterday was no different. Rather than pick up when I heard my Samsung buzzing, before bed I listened to messages and heard the following:
Hey Donna. I'm just calling because I'm happy that you're my friend and I think about the things that you say to me all the time and I'm thinking about one of them now and I'm just so grateful that you exist and I wanted to tell you that. Ok. Bye.
Honestly, I had my head buried in a book all day and night and when I listened to the message I thought, whatever. No one really cares. I didn't call my friend back because that's actually been true. There really have been so few people willing to hang out with me, especially during rough times, without judgment or suggestion or fear, that I often don't believe that kind of presence can exist.
It does though. When I woke up this morning and called my friend, she was completely present in the Kingdom of Sorrow with me. She giggled in a way that let me know that she had some kind of immunity there that granted her the strange ability to visit without getting lost. Then she said I've got you. You can go into it fully and I am here. I won't let you get stuck. She said lots of other stuff too but it was her ability to give me a bit of a rope to use to ferry myself out that started things unraveling.
Why am I telling you this? I'm not sure. To share a the energy of a new possibility? To appreciate and acknowledge the gift this friend is? To have this here, in my blog, so that I can read it later and be reminded that I know a few people with skills and true caring? To pass the time?
Yep. All of those.
Can I share something with you?
I don't always embrace change.
I know, I know. I should. I mean, there are memes dedicated to jumping blissfully off the cliff into the adventure of living circulating on every social media site at least seventeen thousand times a day. There are board-breaking success camps and motivational courses dedicated to helping people transform their lives. Many of my friends have titles like transformation artist and change agent and personal success coach. That's what I do for a living too -- catalyze change.
Really, there's no excuse for me not to emerge easily and willingly from cocoon. Period.
No excuse and still I'm prone to digging my heels in the sand and I think we can agree that no matter how cute the heel, it's much less sexy when it's clawing its way into earth.
Here's something else you might not know about me. Or maybe you do, you're awfully psychic after all. I love to sleep in my car. Yup. I'd rather, when the weather allows, drive to a lake, park, and expand into water molecules and quiet, gentle breeze as I sleep than slumber at home.
In fact, I woke at dawn just this morning snuggled in fur blankets and gazing up at the moon, which hung like a lantern over the great Rocky Mountains. Late last night I nudged my car into a grove of trees who promised to take care of me and after admiring a solitary Blue Heron that was gliding swiftly across the blueing sky I thanked the trees and the stream they drank from for hosting me through the night. Grateful for the planet's willingness to receive me and nurture me, I cranked the car on and got rolling into today.
Driving back into the city I could feel everyone's worlds: their problems, their worries, their sadnesses, their anger -- mostly I could feel their limitations and numbness. My body and being still buzzing and expanding, the smallness so many people live with hit me in a different way than it usually does.
I asked myself how expanded I truly am. Got curious about how big my world has gotten over the last few months and stepped into a sense of the me I'd been pretending not to be. I could see how much I've been trying to fit into a world I've outgrown. Tapping in and expanding, awareness of things I can be doing and places I can be going, both internally and in the world, started to shimmer.
The thing about edges and embracing change is that usually I avoid it because I'll emerge greater than I've decided I can. Like, my life will actually be better than it was before. Rarely do I sidestep change because the possibilities will become lesser or diminish. Actually, it's the opposite. When I resist changing, endless possibilities begin to extinguish.
If this sounds familiar to you here are some questions you could play around with (and by the way, asking questions is about opening doors and inviting All-Of-Consciousness to support you, it's not about having answers):
Oh, and this post wasn't just inspired by nature, I discovered this video "What does it mean to be you?" from Dr. Dain Heer and it made me smile and giggle and remember to have some damn fun with all of this. Check it out!
Believe it or not, ask and receive actually works.
Try it and see for yourself. Go on. Just try.
Get a sense of something you want -- a thing (could even be an energy or way of being) you lack that you'd like to have -- now ask for it.
You don't need to ask someone specific because really you're asking All-Of-Consciousness to support your ask. You're really asking YOU.
How many times have you not even asked or thought to ask for the things you truly desire because it would be too ridiculous, too selfish, too impossible?
Just for today let that go and ask anyway?
Now that you've asked, go on and do something fun and whenever you think of what you've asked for, let go of your ideas of how and when that thing should show up because you know what?… it never shows up how you think it will.
I was playing around on a tele call series with some courageous beings committing to living in ways never before available and offered up the idea of asking for gifts. I used to ask for presents and gifts a lot a couple of years ago and totally forgot the idea until the call.
Guess what's been showing up in my world? Yup. Presents ranging from my brand new bestie, the Love Cruiser, to gift certificates for dinners at swanky restaurants, to fun outfits I wouldn't buy myself in a gazillion years, to beautiful, antique jewelry, to my very first Jell-O shots ever, just to name a few.
Of course, I had to allow myself to receive these kind gestures and the topic of receiving is one that I could probably devote a whole blog series to. I'll give you this though, Access Consciousness ™ Bars is what shifted my capacity to receive. You could start there too if you want.
Whatever you do, ask. Just ask.
I've been joking with myself this morning about creating a new program for people called the Pretending I Care Package. This, because the number of times people call me in a day to tell me a story, chock full of reasons and justifications for why things suck for one reason or another in their lives is flat out ridiculous.
I've been joking with myself, kind of. I mean, I love my friends and clients and wouldn't like to put anyone off but I guess, I'd like to propose a little something different… If you find that you are telling me (or anyone) a big, whopping story, like, if you're talking for more than a minute about a thing, you might actually be caught up in your limitations. And you might really, really adore your limitations else you wouldn't use your precious energy on them. And guess what, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just, you have to pay me more if you want me to listen to your bullshit.
I mean, even when I was teaching a bunch of teenagers with drug habits and psychiatric labels and learning and social "issues" I didn't allow for this much BS. It was more like, kid, you're amazing. You could be doing anything you wanted to right now and *this is what you're doing? Come back and see me when you're ready to look at the possibilities and what you're capable of rather than the problems and limitations.
Tough love. I guess I used to be better at it and I'm looking at a full on revival!
See, the thing is, you're much faster than you pretend to be. Like really. You are capable of changing everything that sucks in your life and one of the ways to do that is to call me up, give me a couple words instead of a big ass story, and let me work my magic. Let YOU work your magic. Let us, together, BE magic. Think of everything you could create and have and do and be and and and if you used your energy to change the stuff that doesn't work rather than tell stories about why things aren't working... Watch out world!
Or, buy a Pretending I Care Package and, for the right price, I will listen to you solidify your limitations till the cows come home ;-)
Lit and Comp teacher gone rogue, disguised now as a Living and Relationship Coach, Body Worker, and Access Consciousness Facilitator, I still sneak off to write because, well, it makes me come alive and it's one of the joyful ways I create the future.