Sex. Sexuality. Copulation. Orgasm. Sexualness. Intimacy. Relationship.
These are the 7 elements of your turn on.
How are they the same? How are they different? How would YOU like to play with the 7 elements as part of your living, breathing reality?
Most people have the different strands of sex tied up into a giant hairball and an even bigger contraction in their world. For many, all things are created equally when it comes to the components of turn on.
I mean, do you know anyone in a sexless marriage? Folks who do sexless marriage decided at some point that sex and relationship are the same and are so attached to their decision that they won't let it go. Have you ever copulated with someone and there was no intimacy or true caring? That's about a decision you have that sex equals no intimacy.
Not only does equalizing the pieces of turn on serve as a source of confusion, angst, jealousy, and upset, it creates a place where you actually turn everything off, including your body. It's how you render yourself totally impotent and the real problem here, regardless of your gender, is that impotence doesn't just affect your sex life, it affects your entire reality and cuts off your capacity to create a greater future.
But don't despair. You're life is not over if you've got your turn on all knotted up. There are a few pragmatic things you can do right now to flip the switch and open up to your potency:
Taking the time to tease out the elements of turn on will step you into a greater awareness of what is and what works for you and this is key to flipping the switch.
There is one thing you require if you'd truly like to instigate this change... no judgment. Of you or of anyone else. You'll have to take a searching and fearless inventory of your sexual reality, including the parts that make you squirm, if you'd like to reawaken to your light, vibrant, joyful, orgasmic life and living.
You'll have to be gut honest with you about how you're copulating. Is it for you or your partner? Is it fun and easy or is it painful and you'd just like to get it over with quickly? You'll have to look at sexuality and sexuality is actually wrapped up in gender and judgment. Did you decide that you are gay and will never do it with the other sex? Are you straight and have a descision that you can't let yourself get excited about the same sex?
The decisions you have in place create a sexual reality that is ordered, predictable, and one that you'll wind up resisting no matter your relationship status. Single or married, polyamorous or monogamous, copulating or celebate, you can have in place a sexual reality that is kinking the hose of your life force.
Let your turn on flow. Start with the willingness to look at what you have as your sexual reality and mix in with that your tenacity and the demand that you tap into what truly turns you on. Then let me know how it goes. Shoot an email to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. What new questions arise in your world as you step into your turn on!
And if you need a bit more of a kickstart, buy my amazing, 3 part Access Consciousness™ class now! Learn more about the elements of turn on. Clear the decisions and confusion you've got wound up in your sexual reality. Create the sex and relationship reality you always knew could and should be possible.
Lit and Comp teacher gone rogue, disguised now as a Living and Relationship Coach, Body Worker, and Access Consciousness Facilitator, I still sneak off to write because, well, it makes me come alive and it's one of the joyful ways I create the future.